Queenstown thoughts

9:15am

dana's birthday. happy sad. waking up in flannel sheets. a queen size bed. content to stay lying there. stretching in the living room. tension in my left hamstring, working its way away. beautiful dinner last night. broccoli pasta with olives, breadcrumbs, salt - a slice of lemon and parmesan cheese. a spring salad with local tomatoes. art work surrounding us. women from india. doctors, engineers, nanotechnologists. here in tasmania, to follow their husbands who go into the mines. beautiful paintings all around. the color, the shapes, immediately grabbing you. another new set of people. to greet. get to know. stories of our families over a first time made plum dessert. helena encouraged me to finish it off. they hadn't spent the day cycling, she reminded me. i gave in, without any sort of fight. flavors, like the colors around the room, that rush in and make themselves at home. dancing. twirling. two friendly dogs. cougar, a german shepard, rescued, former guard dog. and the other, a whippet. love. dogs to walk on the walk back to teh my night's resting spot. finishing a letter to andy before drifting off into an effortless sleep. queenstown ride. met with a friendly reminder headwind, "things could be a lot more difficult for you, little lady, but i'll let you go this time." parched, color stained hills. to take pictures of. undulating, gentle climbs. the first time i felt comfortable in tasmania pushing myself up all of the hills. i knew they wouldn't go on forever. a giddy phonecall to mom and dad. they were so happy. i was so happy. finally running out of things to say to each other. so many things to do today. on foot. let those bike msucles rest for tomorrow's big effort. on to lake st. clair. hiking. places i've been looking forward to since i started this journey. journey. mine. lucky. beautiful. i make it, every day. how i became a positive thinker. like dianne said, "to change, you need something big pushing you, and something [alluring] pulling you." i went through something big. ben. that was his name. but he was only the start of it. so much twirling, holding, and wahooing morphed into one giant shove. slowly, carefully, picked myself up. brushed off my clothes. plucked gravel from the palms of my hands. by the time i was fully upright again the view was completely different. i could see so much further. watching the sunset every night. pull. potential. he'd told me i had so much potential, more than anyone he'd ever met. so i went. australia pulled and i lept. cycling. dancing. sharing. massaging. game playing. crying. withdrawing. taking care of myself. walking. ukelele playing. e-mails from libby. touching. motivating me. beautiful, healthy people. they surround me.