Radiate.

Give me. A mix of eucalyptus trees. Barely green.
Black trunks. Dead grass.
Piles of trash, scattered among the rails. Track side bush.
Eyes closed, the sun coming through those same trees.
Black, then spots of red. Clearing.
Third day in a row for such needed crying.
Tangled, collected together. Moments with so much meaning.
Hugs that don't quickly end. Hand as claws, rubbing, poking.
"You'll have to excuse us Anna..." But Anna just joined in.
Three way. Care. Affection. Love.
This delicate land. A handful of sandy soil.
Silver beet seeds tucked in just below the surface.
Gardening books, read resting in a hammock overlooking recently planted seedlings.
Seeds that grow.
Placed in the ground gently, hesitating.
Confidence found. Rebuilt, sometimes daily. In pedal spanners.
A compassionate friend.
We are alive. We are not dead.
So fragile. Yet we pave over it. Place heaps of steel on the surface of it.
Uranium mines. In the desert of South Australia.
Use up to 42,000,000 liters of water per day.
"And we rode around Victoria tyring to persuade kids to take shorter showers."
I do not want nuclear energy. Not powering any part of me.
Touch. Care. How can we give this land such little care?
Meat, slabs of it, I swerved, just missing it in the bike lane of Arthurton Street. It looked like a cow, what we call beef.
Once living, now dead, forgotten. Rotting. Left for wide tires,
a scavengers feast.
It was raining this morning. 7am. Still dark.
Now its clear. Radiant. The blue. The shining.
I want to crawl into it. The soil, green leaves. The marshy weeds feeding into that stream.
Covered. Wrapped. Cared for. Loving.
To put my feet in motion. Confront the things I find most frightening. Letting "fear of..." rest. Alongside that persistent feeling of "I have no place. I have no home."
"Lola! We're gonna have a visitor." In his tone of voice.
To know, someone really wants me here.
Give me.
The smiths on a moving train.
Memories of dancing. A spirit laughing.
Patience. Time. To relearn such valuable states of mind.
A few sulphur crested cockatoos in the sky.

28 May 2009