Connellys Marsh to Orford (14 April 2009)

Dirt in yer face. Or – Who’s idea was this? Or – How slow can you go?

Good thing my sense of humor came along for the ride today because it was… an experience.

Imagine this: You get a 9am start after a relaxing morning by the sea. You drop a box off at the post office in Dunalley, sending Tash in Melbourne the few excess items you don’t need – but have been carrying for the last 3.5 weeks anyway. Like, somehow, you know, today is a day you can no longer afford to have any extra weight. You take a pee/food/stretch break at Copping before turning on the C335, a dirt road where all your dreams can come true.

Ah, dirt roads. Really, they are so nice. Especially when they aren’t just any dirt road. Oh no, this is a bumpy, pothole filled, loose rocks everywhere type of dirt road. You get to go at a slower pace. Appreciate the wind more. Not to mention all the dust blown up by passing cars. And if that wasn’t enough dirt in yer face, take the opportunity to swerve into the 5-inch deep bit of gravel on the side of the road and body slam yerself right into that lovely dirt. Just be sure to do this on an uphill, traveling at a pleasant 5 k/hr to avoid any serious injury. At the top of this climb, you get a good look over Marion Bay. See, that’s what you came this way for! Well, soak it in, it’s the last ocean view you’ll see from this dirt road.

So steep, how did I do it?Oh, that's better, phewThe one, lovely, motivating ocean viewyes, soaking it in!

After several more hills and some scary, bumpy descents, you make it to the Wielangta Forest Reserve Picnic sight. Just in time too, you are starving. How you ever lived without daily peanut butter and nutella sandwiches before, you’ll never know. You try to relax a little here, but you are lucky to meet the most persistent and annoying bumble bee on the island of Tasmania. So after repeatedly telling it through clenched teeth, “Idontlikeyou. Gooooaway,” you give up and get on yer bike. You rush downhill only to be greeted by a monstrously bumpy and steep slope. “Crap!” You cry out for granny gear, but its too late, and you have the chance to nearly face plant again – and again, as you try to re-start. No, no. Loose rocks and steep = pushing yerself (and bike) up the hill. Be glad you got that practice in Hobart as yer calves quadruple in size and you wonder, who’s idea was it to take this route!?

A plummet into treelandnutella, peanut butter, mmm

Now, in case you are having so much challenging fun on this dirt road, which of course you are up to this point, why don’t you miss the turn-off to the less hilly, ocean view, soon to be a paved road? Well, this is yer lucky day, that turn-off isn’t signed! Even when you come up to a road that you think must be it, you’ll pass it, cause again, surely, such a road would have a sign! As a reward for yer chosen path, you get a never-ending climb UP! But before you start this climb, you’ll see it coming from a distance on a rare, ongoing stretch of flat road. You may be close to tears and feel like chucking your bike in the gully:

but have no fear, just pull over (careful in the deep gravel), eat a carrot and some nut mix, check the map again, and off you go you wonderkid, hill tackler, you. You’ll show that mountain who’s boss! On the way up, be sure to let out a wahoo and celebrate just how slow you can go, 3.9 km/hr, you rock!

i climbed up all this way to thumbs lookout, and it looked good from here, no need to go 2ks on a side road further up!

Of course all that effort comes along with a terrifying descent where the road gets bumpier and the rocks bigger. Even though you have to stop several times for fear of over heating yer tire rims (does that actually happen?), and even though you become incredibly cranky and only want off this damned road, you soon see a sign that says “Orford” and the most beautiful thing of the day. Sorry stunning gum trees along the way, but the pavement wins! If you make it the last few K’s in to Orford with only a scratch on yer knee, a 1cm thick coating of grime on every inch of yer skin, and a ½ smile still on yer face, well, congratulations, you get to be yer own hero for the day.

And as a real reward, the caravan campground you planned to sleep at will be closed, and you’ll meet another pair of ‘grey nomads’ who’ve found a free camping spot just a couple 100 meters down the road. After pitching yer tent, you’ll gladly take the two apples they offer you for dinner and don’t you ever forget how delicious muesli and powdered milk can be at the end of such a day. And the sunset- pastel sky, bay, Maria island, wow, this really is yer lucky day.
Connellys Marsh to Orford
Total K’s: 57.50
Avg Spd: 12.3 k/hr
Max Spd: 49.9 k/hr
Hours on Bike: 4:40
KM Scary Hill Rating: 6/7 (with the downhill worse than the up)